Ugh consumerism

I saw this today as I was on Pinterest and it literally made me so angry. I'm not entirely sure why but I can tell you YOU DO NOT NEED DESIGNER SUNGLASSES, DESIGNER TRAVEL MUG,DESIGNER WALLET, and a DESIGNER LONG SKEEVED SHIRT to look like you're relaxed, chill, or the perfect woman (looks are deceiving). Like honestly what the actual fuck.  Who needs brand names to be comfy and casual. I'm actually embarrassed for the person who posted this. What kind of awful people are you trying to please with all of these brands? Oh my godddd-I can't. There are no words besides what is the world coming to? This is a sad day for the popular page on Pinterest. That whole outfit is about $500, have fun trying not to get the stains of life on your casual clothes, oh no don't drop your $20 travel mug!! Who has time for that? (Or money) 

Moral of this rant: spend your money with good company not on mundane objects that you absolutely do not need to spend more than $10 on....ugh consumerism 

(Note: author has and loves both sperrys and nike shorts like in the picture, they are wicked comfortable and are worn more than 3 times a week) 

Herrroooo!!

Hello friends, comrades, and wanderers...

Welcome to my blog!

A little about me: 

I am a proud graduate of SUNY Oneonta where I made amazing, life long friends who really taught me how to laugh and to enjoy life. But most of all we had fun. 

That's what I miss the most, we could even make trips to the library fun, it was like a social hour with some studying thrown in.

I am currently pursuing a graduate degree at U Albany. Most of my posts are going to be about surviving grad school, because it's like nothing I've ever experienced and it's all-consuming... I thought undergrad was hard and that graduating with honors was impressive, well let me tell you I'd give my left foot( not my right foot, I need that for soccer ;) ) to go back to undergrad studies. 

I live at home in a full house with my parents, a brother and 2 kitties! And I have no plans of moving out anytime soon, (not by choice). But my neighbors are also my best friends and I'm so grateful they're so close or else I'd probably have jumped off a cliff by now....

So here we go: juggling grad school and work, while trying to have a social life 

Ear candy for working out

Yesterday I was at the gym and it is just so easy to cheat on cardio-its long, and on a treadmill or whatever cardio machine, you aren't going anywhere. So my biggest challenge is staying motivated to keep going because, let's face it, its so BORING. Especially if there aren't mirrors to see hot guys in, or if there aren't any hot guys at all (WARNING: DON'T GO TO A YMCA LOOKING FOR GYM LOVE IT'S JUST OLD MEN). So one of the best solutions is to have a great playlist. I usually will listen to the newest music that I've downloaded, but yesterday I was just sick of listening to the same songs that i hear all the time, so mixing it up with help from my friend "Shuffle" was necessary. And this is what I found:

Best songs to run to:

Let Go-Frou Frou

Feel So Close-Calvin Harrus

Cure For the Itch-Linkin Park

My Favorite Accident-Motion City Soundtrack

Tell Me Baby-RHCP
The District Sleeps Alone-Postal Service

Left My Baby For You-Blake Lewis
We Found Love-Rihanna
Call On Me-Eric Pryds
Million Voices-Otto Knows
--if you don't mind someone yelling at you, consider listening to Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory in its entirety--SO GOOD

But those should get you started, the first two are "feel good" like working towards a change and getting rid of the bull shit. Cure For the Itch is only instrumental, which if I'm being totally honest here, I like music for the music- lyrics don't really do it for me (most of the time I can't hear them anyways). My Favorite Accident is a throw back to the emo/pop rock days of high school angst and will help you run through a whole lap before you notice it happened. Anything by RHCP works really, Tell Me Baby is just what came on for me-it will make you want to run along to the beat and is just a music orgasm all around. Postal Service is a personal fave, I don't know what it is but they're music makes me feel things. One time I ran 5 miles with just 2 songs of theirs on repeat..just sayin. The final 4 are just really fun songs, you will be motivated to finish your run, and if you start dancing on the treadmill I would not be surprised (I've done it!). The Blake Lewis song also literally has lyrics that go "I wanna run, run, run, run, run, run, run it again.." so if that doesn't help you on your trek I don't know what will...

So after you've made it through cardio, its time to LIFT...
or in my case pretend I know what I'm doing and just look tough while staring at all the HOT GUYS. (Note: the author no longer goes to a YMCA and now goes to Bally's where there is a much better younger-male presence for viewing ;) )

But I do have 5 main songs I like to do post-cardio workouts to:
I like to squat to Digital Get Down by N'Sync, haha, it's on point, trust me.
Pop That-French Montana for anything with arms, specifically rows and lat pull downs (THIS IS ALSO A GREAT SONG TO RUN TO)
Stereo Hands-Edward Maya and Wocka mashup good for making planks less torturous
Let It Be -Blackmill ft Veela for abs

I've also been into Lorde and Sara and Tegan lately, and their pandora stations actually aren't awful for working out to-sometimes the calm, alternative, indie stuff works in mysterious ways-you'd be surprised.

The moral of the story is: find music that will motivate you to finish that workout! don't cut yourself short because you get bored of it, be done when you're done-it's called WORKING OUT-you need to work at it...so why not have some help along the way, right?

Hangovers with a side of Social Media

There are rare Saturday nights when I don't have to wake up on Sunday and read a whole book or write a paper...last night was one of them. So fun-loving me went to some friends aptartment in Albany where we polished off a bottle of 90 proof peppermint schnapps, and a bottle of Fireball, my friend combined them and made shots called Fire and Ice, but really it should called "You will puke on the side of the road tomorrow morning"...catching my drift?

So between the 5 of us, I was the only girl but I like to think I can keep up with the fellas, we had about 6 shots and on top of that we were all working on some beers. That was just before we went-what are we in college? NO. The cold, hard answer is no. Don't get me wrong, fun was certainly had, and those great drunk conversations went on for hours, our main one was about social media's negative impact on actual human interaction. I have an opinion on social media that I like to impose on others, because I'm right...just kiding, think what you want. But social media, whether you like it or not, can give or take away self esteem by a simple click of a button. How ridiculous. So, I was done with feeling bad about myself because I didn't get enough "likes" on a facebook post-but really I had to come to terms with the fact people really don't care, unless is a wedding ring picture, a baby picture, or some big life event...In November I deactivated my facebook, and was free from its bonds up until this weekend. When I reactivated it for Tinder-haha. Everybody needs that PMA every now and then (Positive Male Attention-thank you J.Stokes for the wonderful concept), I seem to need it all the time. So I love Tinder, I hate facebook, but they are linked so I caved-BUT-I have not even gone on my facebook, it's just there (so do I still count as a strong-willed person?) Other social media I like: twitter. LOVE twitter, I actually got retweeted by one of my favorite comedians the other night, Loni Love, and my whole life was made infinitely better by that one-button click. I also like instagram. HOWEVER both of those have their issues too. What the most obvious problem is, is that all of these outlets are just ways to brag about something. Sometimes it's ok, like if you had been driving a car for 6 years that you were never sure would get you to your destination but you finally got a new car! Or you got into a great grad school after all the sweat and tears you put in at undergrad! But most of the time, people take the posts personally, or lack of likes on a post, and the issues start from there. Such as FOMO (fear of missing out), or actually being left out and the posts were purposely put up to show you that you weren't included, or getting cheated on and the proof is literally on the wall. There is also the fact that all of these things are online and everyone can see it. AND there are no secrets if you post it. These things aren't meant to be a diary, but they are certainly treated like it. Now one of my main concerns is the impact these posts leave on younger, more impressionable girls and boys. I know how I react to some posts that I don't want to know about, but I cannot imagine how I wouldve handled them in high school, or even early college (by the end of school I really learned to not give any f's anymore and try to enjoy more of life). It's really sad and scary how social media can make you feel, and I wish I could tell every girl that these posts and pictures and tweets do not matter at all. Life is lived outside of technology and in the moment-who cares if you got left out, you can find better friends-who cares what someone wore to school one day, everyone has their own style...and most of all just to love yourself, because you are unique and your own self, dont try to be what society is showing you to be...

ANYWAYS off of my social media rant, it was a fun night-I can't really tell you what we did because in all honesty I don't remember much of it :X but this morning I had a killer headache, slept in til noon, and still have not been able to eat (it's 5). Now I still have to do some homework, watch the bachelor and do my other typical Sunday events.....but im so tired, and I dont really feel like it will be possible to move...wish me luck!

Grad School: if only I knew what I was getting into

So I didn't really plan out my grad school adventure very well, I just kind of decided to do it. I wasn't thrilled with my job; working with kids was never in my epic plan and I wanted more out of life than a cold every week and listening to tattle-tailers, and there was no room for upward mobility. So I asked for my parents opinion and they said to do it and so my decision was made. I knew I wanted to put my bachelors in history to work so I searched for history programs, and I found something interesting: MSIS/MA His- masters of science in information science and a masters of history- a dual program. So that was that. Now I'm doing MSIS concentrating in Archives and I can actually see myself doing this.

(But hey that changes every other day see: why am doing this post)

Ok so after all of the stress of applying, taking and bombing the GREs, and finally getting accepted I never thought to ask someone what grad school was actually like. Boy was I in for a big surprise...

Even the most trivial things were complicated. Like the building codes to where classes are were like in a foreign language and took me so long to figure out, or even where to get my ID (I waited a whole month before pursuing that task) needless to say, I got lost a lot. I still don't know where the union is, or how the print system works (anybody from UAlb know if we get a print quota?). 

Aside from all the navigational issues, grad school just totally changed my world and I wish I was a little more prepared for what was coming to me. Instead I had about 3 major mental breakdowns and cried for 2 months straight (not my brightest moments).So the short of this is, if someone was to ask me for prep on grad school this is what I would tell them...

1. Say goodbye to your social life 

2. You will need to do some homework 7 days a week just to keep up

3. You will read more in 1 semester of grad school than you probably did in all 4 years of undergrad (you actually have to try to read every page, cover to cover)

Those are a few of my required books from just 2 classes (these are just the ones I couldn't sell back) 

4. Socializing is not as nearly as fun or easy as it was in undergrad: you'll maybe make 3-5 friends and only after the 2nd semester

5. Friday nights are for sleeping, not for drinking

6. Happy Hour is a long lost memory (most classes are in the evenings) 

7. Don't even try to have a boyfriend 

8. Nobody outside of grad school will understand 

9. Crying yourself to sleep becomes a habit 

10. You'll feel very alone, confused, and conflicted, and question if it's even worth it (but it is)

Things I wish someone told me after the first semester:

IT GETS BETTER!! Chin up buttercup, suck it up.

You'll see the same people in your program and you'll have to eventually say hi; 

you aren't alone, there's a whole class with you; 

yeah the work sucks but you are literally becoming a master at something;

you need to volunteer ASAP somewhere related to your masters; 

you will find the time for your best girlfriends, even if it's once every 3 months; 

change is good;

keep it up 

So far I'm surviving, but man it's a jungle out there

On the bright side, I actually enjoy my classes. I like being in school. Yes, there are lectures and boring professors but there is so much hands on work you can actually conceptually learn. And particiation is key to having good, fun, worthwhile classes. The best class I've had this semester was actually one where my group was giving a presentation and we got the class involved and we used humor and candy-so simple yet so successful...

Just some of my thoughts, grad school is a pain in the butt but apparently it will be worth it in the end. We shall see...

PS concentrate on the little victories, like getting a thank you from your superiors or a good job on an assignment, or even as simple as finding the perfect nail polish...those will get you through

Why am I doing this?

It's one of those "why am I even doing this" " this is not what I want to do with my life" days. I have literally no idea why I settled for this internship in an office, or why I'm even going to grad school...I want to literally save and love-and if they don't kill me, swim with-killer whales and other marine life. Like that's not even relevant to what I'm doing right now. Why am I here-wasting away, being yelled at for things I can't even control, and counting down the seconds til I get to leave, WHYYY...

Apparently this is a normal feeling and I'm not alone(give me a shout if ya feel me). Most 20-something's go through this feeling, right?-The guy in the cube next to me literally just said "what the fuck," perfect timing Patrick!- My heart feels heavy and I just want to cry, when will this all pay off? Will this even pay off? I just want to experience this:

Go here (Barcelona):

And relive this magic moment: 

Is that too much to ask? 

Most importantly how will being an archivist even get me to any of these? 

Why am I doing this? 

I guess the only thing I can do for now is read about access points in MARC cataloguing (if you don't know what that is don't worry about it, I don't either-yet) and drink my chocolate milk...meep 

Real Life Struggles

If someone told me last year that I'd be able to wake up at 5am with no problem, get a 30 minute workout in, shower, eat a real breakfast and still get out of my house at 7:20, totally presentable and ready for the day, I wouldn't believe them for a second. 

I have always been a semi-morning person, meaning I can get usually get up when I'm supposed to and sleeping in usually means to 8:30. But before this January I have never willing woken up before 630, I like my sleep and once I'm up I like to take my sweet ass time getting ready. I like to enjoy my cup of hot whatever (this month is tea) and watch tv and take my time mentally preparing myself to get shit on by life for 16 straight hours...And my hair is a completely different story that I have just given up on, so looking presentable is a feat short of a miracle. 

But waking up at 5 is a whole new world-cue jasmine-unbelievable sights and indescribable feelings is 5am to a T...like my dad doing his back stretches in the back porch in his underwear, or my brother passed out on the couch sprawled out in every angle except the token 1-hand down his pants..on the couch because he was too lazy to make the trip up the stairs to his bed aka my bed from college-ha. But there are also benefits like seeing the sun rise, and choosing what everyone is going to watch during morning busy-ness; this morning we watched SNL and then the news....no warm weather in sight, kill me. I am impatiently awaiting the day when I can walk into work without cursing myself for not buying a real winter jacket while clutching my travel mug in hopes that the 16oz of warmth will make it through my whole body for the 2 minute walk through the tundra (it never does)...

Work these days is a paid internship with a state department so I made out like a bandit which I'm super pumped about. I'm essentially Pam Beesly from the Office, but there's no Michael Scott and definitely no Jim. There's a few Creeds and a Kevin though...But it's also work and let's be real I'd rather spend my time lampin out, watching killer whale documentaries and doing arts and crafts..or volunteering at an archive or a library, such a nerd I know. 

Side Bar: I feel like it takes me a way longer time to react to someone I pass in the hallway. Like I need at least a 7 second warning to muster a full smile, instead a stupid no-teeth smile..not trying to be a betch Im just blessed with poor reaction time, wah. And I'm really bad with quick comments on the spot...in a nutshell: "IM UGLY AND AWKWARD AND ALWAYS SAY THE  WRONG THING" (Jo March, Little Women) 

Side side bar: holy f there's this acquaintance that I follow on twitter and her tweets are screaming so loudly for male attention and pity that a) it's hilarious but b)also makes me want to verbally slap her for being so annoying, and c) if she would just shut up for a second she could enjoy herself. Not saying I'm not guilty of occasionally posting the same kinds of tweets, but these are back to back and kill me. Girlfriend stop-it's not cute. 

So off the side bar, my favorite boots, which I got at Christmas, are falling apart.. The heel is coming off and there are cracks across the sole one the bottom on both pairs...apparently wooden shoes aren't winter weather resistant. One of the Creeds always compliments them, he's Pirate Creed for sure.  His life goal is to sell his house and use his retirement money to move to a Caribbean Island-not a bad goal if I do say so myself. But he is still a Creed and today he told me I'm illegal..because I was texting and walking and that's illegal in some places...meep 

On the upside I just had a totally awesome pear for my afternoon snack. Sweet, soft and juicy. It was so refreshing mmm definitely the highlight to my day.  

FYI LL Bean does give the lifetime guarantee but that doesn't mean they always have what you're updating in stock. Wasted an evening in rush hour traffic trying to get there and then after all that, we get there and they're all out of size baby-feet  moccasins. All that FO NOTHIN..wah

And now I still have to go to Electronic Records Management from 7-10, yippee

Work selfie